🕳️ Between Knowing and Comfort
A quiet promise with no illusions.
I know what’s happening. What’s going wrong. What’s coming.
I know the numbers. I’ve seen the images. I know the pain – the one I don’t feel because I’ve learned how to bury it.
I am part of the problem. I consume. I benefit. I click “accept.” I order. I fly. I stay silent.
I’m no hero. I’m no martyr. I’m not ready to give it all up. Not yet. Maybe never.
I am a beneficiary. A junkie of the system. I know the dose keeps rising. That we take more and feel less.
I hate it. I love it. I live inside it.
But I won’t lie to myself anymore.
I will not parade my concern as virtue. I will not cover my clarity with sarcasm.
I no longer want to pretend, no longer want to look away, no longer want to smile when I should be burning.
I don’t promise to save the world.
I promise not to betray myself.
I will not act perfectly. But I will remember. Again and again.
When I consume. When I benefit. When I stay silent.
I will remember that I know better.
And maybe, someday, I’ll begin to act differently.
Not out of guilt. But because I can’t bear to remain a spectator in the final act of this planet.